Don't pay too much attention to the title, you won't find Kennedy assassination plots in here. I just like dramatic titles :) . I was talking to a good friend earlier about how women perceive themselves. The subject arose when I showed him a picture of two girls I know that think they are hot, yet in reality aren't (lord, forgive me!).
My friend said that all women think they are hot, even when they are not. I believe he is close to the truth. Let me explain how I my view was formed before I delve into this subject. On this matter I was probably heavily influenced by two factors: 1) Observing my sisters through their 20s (zomfgbbq i wont give u pix!) and 2) My dad, namely working at his law office ( he did divorces in Las Vegas) and seeing him go up against moms that were strippers, casino whores, and "angels".
I remember my dad one time telling me this when I asked him about one case "Women in a relationship have one thing to sell, sex. They have a limited time to sell it before it expires. So find someone truly worth it like your mom".
A hot woman derives her confidence, especially inside a club or bar, from the fact that people perceive her as such. She is used to guys saying she is hot, or acting timid around her (which is the same as saying she is hot). This is why negs work or acting "confident". By negging you are essentially saying "You aren't hot, I don't buy into that perception of you". Once you have set that tone, she essentially loses all her power. What else is supposed to hold your interest if you don't find her hot? You essentially gutted her of her self-esteem.
So, in essence, we guys give women their power! By acting timid, and unnecessarily complimenting them, we are in effect feeding this perception. Now why is it that all women act hot? Well, much like products we see on TV, most men aren't interested in "substance" (i.e. what she truly is like, at least initially) and more so in the "hype" (i.e. looks). So what is a sub-par looking female to do? Act hot of course! If she acts hot, she is giving off that aura that she too, like the real hot women, has guys act timid over her and compliment her. This is why you see fat bitches making those kissy faces (see my picture I posted here) or dancing with their friends sexily. If I were to see this broad during the day I wouldn't look at her twice, yet at night she gets a second stare just because she acts hot!
This is why I think a truly confident guy is really insuperable. If you draw your source of confidence from something internal and not external nothing can fray you. For example, do not draw your confidence from the fact you are the "best" at something (PU or whatever) but rather something internal (you follow your passion relentlessly, such as traveling). Once you achieve that no woman can fray you. That is why I think a confident guy is has a stronger reality than a hot woman. The day the hot woman, who is use to getting all the attention and skipping lines, shows signs of aging and all of a sudden isn't getting the attentions he once was and people aren't falling head over heels to let her skip lines, her reality and therefore "confidence" comes tumbling down.
So in short, see past the hype and don't concentrate on how "hot" she is. Instead, truly be relaxed, derive your confidence internally, and treat these girls like the little girls they really are! :)
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5 comments:
thank you for another insightful post! my opinion is that you are partly right. women have 2 sources of "esteem"/value (one of social value, derived externally, and another from within, self-esteem). girls who are perceived as "hot" by society become dependent on this external source, so it's quite easy to rattle their "value" when you use negs. however, not so hot girls and especially fat girls, most derived their value from within, these are extremely difficult to shake, because they are not so externally/socially driven.
however, even fat girls nowadays, can think they are hot because of craigs list... they masquerade themselves as BBW. so what are your sisters? ;)
Hmm, but do they really think they're hot or are they, like so many, masking their insecurity. Often those so called 'negs' point out some flaw, which may not only be a method of setting the frame that you're not buying into popular conception, but a method of letting those insecurities rise. 'Theres something in your hair, teeth, dress makes you look etc'. Would someone who is truly confident, whether you deem the esteem to be falsely derived, be phased by such trivialities? What do you think?
I think that women's self-esteem, at this stage of life is derived from different areas. I contend that a woman's worth is mainly, be it through social conditioning or whatever, sex-appeal. That is what I think is the root of this.
P.S. what is with the anon comments?
because we are your secret admirers, leo the lionheart ;)
As a fat woman, I don't care if a guy thinks I'm hot or not...if I cared what he thought, I wouldn't have gotten fat in the first place. The first comment was right, some of us derive our value from within...which gives us an edge over the skinny insecure girl, in the long run. (no jerks for us, we don't tolerate them) When a person can be happy in their own skin, male or female, great things happen! Getting there is another story....
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