Sunday, May 6, 2007

Approach Anxiety is the Boogeyman

How is it that no one questions the idea of Approach Anxiety? As my title says, I think the Approach Anxiety is like the boogeyman. It doesn't exist, but we hype it up so much that it might as well exist since we fear it so much (and thus, in my opinion, cause it to manifest). It doesn't help when you have such respected gurus like Mystery who not only accept the notion, but even tries to justify it scientifically. Listen, I think Mystery is great, the man is an absolute genius and any day of the week I'd take lessons from him, that does not mean he is an evolutionary biologist nor a psychiatrist.

Let me present a hypothetical situation. Let's say we took a some children, and raised them in such a manner so that they had no fear of approaching people (this could be done by isolating them and structuring their interactions in such a manner so as to foster an openness), and then at the age of 18 we integrated them into society. They would not have a problem approaching! If you don't believe me that is possible, how is it that some people can be 'taught' to virtually feel no pain, yet we can't teach some kids to not feel anxiety?

I won't delve into the whys and why nots of how Approach Anxiety comes about, however, what I am saying is that don't assume it has to be a part of your life. If you have anxiety, follow that anxiety and see to where it leads. There will be an underlying reason as to why you have it. Further, if you believe you do not have to have it, eventually you will internalize that belief, and I believe it can be removed from your life. I am currently doing this, and I have had less anxiety. I am not at the point where it is completely gone, yet the way stuff is advancing now it is a strong possibility I will not have anxiety.

What this really comes down to is not taking what you hear for granted. Just because some guy went out for so many nights a week and now teaches bootcamps doesn't mean you have to take everything he says as the word of God. These gurus have loads of information to share, but don't let them transfer beliefs unto you that will hinder you.

3 comments:

DDD said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
DDD said...

I agree that the approach anxiety is a load of crap. Sure, it might exist, just because someone with a brilliant marketting strategy decided to name it to make it a reality. Same can be said about "natural" game, direct vs. indirect,...

Now, I disagree with your solution. Rather than focusing on approach anxiety, I would devote my energy to just talking to ppl with the idea in mind that I'm there to be social. No hidden agenda.

Sure, she might look hot enough to get me hard, is she a good fuck? Who knows, her labia may be the size of mud flaps, may be that turns you on, she might not be the kind of girls for you...

micawber said...

I agree, if you focus too much on it you'll be consumed by it. However, I think that if you are experiencing something like anxiety, it is worthwhile to find the cause. When you go out, it should be the last thing on your mind